ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷 (pjammer) wrote,
ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷
pjammer

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1-415-555-WHOA

As some of you know, I've been cast in a local independent movie spoof production of The Matrix on strength of my uncanny ability to impersonate Hugo "Agent Smith" Weaving. I am jazzed to see that things are moving rather swiftly; we are looking to start filming some test footage of scenes in a few weeks.

Currently we have: a 30-page script, a hideously expensive digital video camera, a dedicated high-speed G4 and 3/4 of the cast confirmed. The energy of working alongside eccentric, creative people is invigorating, and I hope we can do this script justice.

Excerpts:
INT. Neo's apartment. An alarm clock buzzes.

NEO lifts his head up from the cereal to look at the computer screen. It's full of online porn, instant message boxes, Yahoo! crap, etc.

NEO
Whoa. . . .


He is about to fall asleep in his cereal again when an anonymous message slices onto the screen.

SCREEN
Neo, you really ought to be using Open Source.

Neo is frozen when he reads his name.

SCREEN
You definitely shouldn't use Outlook Express.

NEO
What the hell...

SCREEN
You should follow the White Rabbit. Knock, knock, Neo.

[ ... ]

AGENT SMITH touches his earpiece and listens intently to a voice.

AGENT SMITH
What do you mean!? I have to interrogate him in a -- a lavatory??

ROBOTIC VOICE (V.O.)
We're running out of RAM. Deal with it.
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