ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷 (pjammer) wrote,
ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷
pjammer

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Pjammer's Lexicon

Girlfriend Luck: [noun] (gērl frēnd lùk) – the uncanny and highly annoying phenomenon where girlfriends who are invited to join player-vs-player computer/console games that they are wholly unfamiliar with, nonetheless beat the stuffing out of more-experienced male opponents.

Background: As most residents of college dormitories or mixed-gender households can tell you, the player-vs-player computer and console gaming world appeals disproportionately to the male demographic. The cause is likely something to do with testosterone and its affinity to simulated gunfights/swordplay/hand-to-hand combat. Whatever the case, from time to time someone’s girlfriend/roommate/sister is invited to join a game – typically to even out FPS (First Person Shooter) teams, or as an answer to the incessant question “what’s so fun about these silly games anyway?”

Because she is unfamiliar with a game’s commands or dynamics, the newbie usually proceeds to mash all the buttons/commands at random … and much to the bewilderment and chagrin of her opponents, wallop them repeatedly because she is such a wildly unpredictable adversary.
Quotes:

“Uh, so this button is the ‘shoot’ button and that one’s the ‘jump’ command? Ooh, ok – it’s the other way around … so THIS is the shoot button and … wow, did I just head-shot that guy? Cool. Hey, you’re right, Counter-Strike IS fun!”

“Why is everybody using rifles? I got ten frags in a row with this pistol.”

“Oops. Sorry. Didn’t mean to kill you again so fast.”

“Hey look! I took out four guys with one grenade! Does that happen a lot?”

Warning: if a newbie woman who is repeatedly crushing her opponents actually becomes interested in a particular game and tries to learn its mechanics and commands, Girlfriend Luck disappears completely.
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