ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷 (pjammer) wrote,
ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷
pjammer

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All Right, You Jackals - Show Me What You're Made Of

GOP strategies have in recent years been a mixed bag, but nothing approaches the absurdity of the Republican-iPod.

Quote from Duff pretty much sums it up:

But honestly, I haven't seen a more contradictory fashion accessory since Dukakis put on an Army helmet. The iPod is the very symbol of left-wing hipster chic. Apple computer is owned, built, and used by Godless Commie Art Fags. The idea of Republicans giving away an iPod, it's like the Democratic National Committee hosting a gun show.

The idea is so ludicous, it's almost metaphysical. These iPods should just spontaneously cease to exist. Such conflicting ideologies cannot exist within the same space.

And yes, I want one so bad, I may have to make a GOP site. I should host a contest and take bets on how quickly they'll take it down. The parody would be pricess, but it would be even more fun to win on false pretenses and disclaim everything after I get the prize.

Getting the obvious jokes out of the way first

1. It's like a regular iPod but it only plays Country and Godcasts.

2. Just like the GOP, iPod bruises easily and falls apart in four years.

3. Try to play Dixie Chicks and the iPod will blast Lee Greenwood at full volume until you kill yourself.

still leaves us with a wide-open topic for people with an evil sense of humor to drive a truck through. My kind of people.

I know there are those of you who read this journal whose black, black hearts pump sarcasm and snideness through your veins, and invite you to expel that vicious sense of humor that the God you don't believe granted you to give the following your best shot.

"Top 10 features of The Democrat-Pod"

"Top 10 features of the Libertarian-Pod"

"Top 10 features of the Green-Party-Pod"

"Top 10 features of an Objectivist-Pod"

Go.
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