ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷 (pjammer) wrote,
ezekiel's chariot - 張敦楷

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My Brother Is Funny

Unintentionally funny moments are the best kinds of humor.

Excerpt from my brother's journal entry, Things You Never Want to Explain to Your Mom:

I came home this Tuesday morning to spend the holidays with the family. It's been pretty relaxing so far - fixing things my parents have broken, teaching my mom how to do stuff on the computer, and handling a crapload of mundane errands.

Last night we had dinner together (mom, dad, brother, me) and actually sat around and talked after we had finished eating. It's nice to spend time with the family, considering that we don't get to see each other that much. My mom ends up asking me about dating girls at school (I know...) and points out that: "You are in the best place to meet girls right now. Now that you're done with school, you should go out as much as you can. In a few years, you won't have the time or the access to all these girls your age."

Gee, thanks, mom. It is really weird to have my MOM tell me to go out and get some play. I mean, she may has well have told me to go out and get laid. Apparentely she doesn't believe my "find a cute doctor girl and marry her" plan will work.

For some reason, I bring up K, and I share that she is "really, really cute", but seems extremely high maintenance and is most importantly, way too damn young. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Yeah, so there's this freshman girl I met up in the dorms. She's really, REALLY cute, but I think she's way too prissy and high maintenance for my taste. I don't think I'd like her even if I dated her."
Mom: "Why can't you date her? You should at least try and find out."
Me: "No... oh wait, I forgot to mention that she's EIGHTEEN. She barely turned eighteen JUST this past JUNE. Do you realize that makes us literally five years apart?"
Mom: "So what? Dad and I are four years apart."
Me: "Dude, mom... it's different. This is college. If I were thirty and she were twenty five, it would be okay. Do you understand that she is BARELY LEGAL??"
Mom: "Legal for what?"
Me: .................
Mom: "What?"
Me: (Debates whether or not to discuss "age of consent" .... considers wisely that it would be a bad idea.)
Mom: "You mean, legal to drink? I thought that was twenty-one?"
Me: "Uhhh, yeah...... yeah, I guess you're right, mom..." *awkwardly looks away*

Naturally, my brother conveniently neglected to mention in the above transcript the part where I began convulsing with inappropriately loud laughter the moment our mother uttered the immortal question 'Legal for what?' and continued to cough and snicker (earning me annoyed, quizzical stares from both our parents) while he stammered for a response.

And thus was Christmas Dinner at the Chang household. Good times, good times.

Things You Never Want to Explain To Your Mom

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