And so what should have began a relaxing weekend in D.C. quickly turned into a 48 hours nightmare in Federal custody on the 3rd floor of the SFO Airport.
4:42 AM. The spartan interrogation room is tiled the color of stale custard. A man in a white coat enters, accompanied by two beefy Federal agents who look like they were recruited from a pool of NFL linebackers.
"Look, like I told the guys before you ... it was a total accident. I'm really sorry, but that's all it was-"
White Coat interrupts me as he pulls out a latex glove: "Mister Chang, are you familiar with 'full-cavity search?'"
"Oh HELL no-" I leap up from my chair to break for the door, but Agent NFL Recruit and his pal, who are much faster than their bulk might suggest, are behind me, pinning me down while I scream bloody murder in the soundproof room while White Coat pulls on the glove.
... or more precisely, the above is probably what SHOULD have happened this weekend, but it appears the Gods of Irony have once again smiled on me and I am a free man.
There is, as we know, all sorts of luck in this world. Beginner's Luck. Girlfriend Luck. And then, there is Idiot Luck, in which those of us who make incredibly stupid decisions are allowed to dodge the consequences of our actions ... a kind of boon that has protected me in my worst moments of bad judgement throughout my sordid life.
Allow me to explain.
Thursday night ... I am packing for my trip out to D.C. and sorting through my belonging. Stuffing random things in my pockets ("I'll take care of this later"), jettisoning the Bachelor floatsam in a large garbage bag. With a 6am flight out, I sleep in my day clothes and get my boarding pass an hour before my departure.
After an uneventful flight, I check into my hotel in D.C. and, upon changing out of my clothes, realized that somehow, I managed to board a flight into Washington D.C. ... WITH TWO POCKETS FULL OF .45-CALIBER LIVE AMMUNITION (which I absent-mindedly added to my pockets while sorting through my belongings the night before).
But Idiot Luck somehow kept a double-fistful of brass-encased lead bullets from tripping the SFO metal detectors, and instead of answering questions in a windowless interrogation room, I am sitting here typing away.
There's a lesson here, but I am not sure what it is.
Photos from the wedding and sightseeing trip to DC to be posted shortly. Back to work.
PS: as you've noticed, I've made this a friends-only post, and I am debating whether I should make it public. Your thoughts?